Geeking out on combining Tiny Habits and the Three Gears

Yes, I am a habit geek who feels I’m onto something.

When it comes to getting rid of unwanted habits, the language we use matters. BJ Fogg, the behavioral researcher and creator of the Tiny Habits method, prefers the term "unraveling" to "breaking" when it comes to getting rid of bad habits. It's a perspective shared by Dr. Jud Brewer, who emphasizes the roles of awareness, curiosity, and kindness in loosening the grip of bad habits.

Fogg's concept of "Pearl Habits" recognizes that some habits, like an irritating grain of sand in an oyster, can be transformed over time. The key, he suggests, is to identify the anchor or prompt, the behavior, and the reward - and then to find a way to disrupt the habit loop.

This is where Brewer's 3 Gears method comes in, which he breaks down into: awareness of the habit loop, disenchantment with the reward, and finding a deeper reward through mindfulness and curiosity.

Imagine applying this curious awareness to a "Pearl Habit." You notice the prompt, say: a worry loop (Brewer's first gear). Instead of continuing to engage in the worry loop, pause and get curious (Brewer's second gear). What does the worry feel like in your body? Tension in your chest? What need is the habit trying to meet? A need for control?

Here's the key: You might still give in to the craving and keep worrying. But you do so mindfully, fully aware of your experience. And as you investigate, you might start to find the old reward less appealing (Brewer's disenchantment). Constant worrying might give you a brief sense of control, but it’s only fleeting and is exhausting.

This process of disenchantment is gradual. It's not about perfect abstinence or instant replacement. It's about being aware again and again of the unpleasant bodily sensations, until the old habit starts to lose its grip.

Over time, as you continually bring curious awareness to the habit loop, you create space for new patterns to emerge (Brewer's third gear). Brewer says that curiosity can activate the brain's reward system, releasing dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. Curiosity is what makes learning or exploring new things rewarding and motivating. Thanks to curiosity, you might discover deeper, more nourishing rewards - like a sense of peace, connection, or self-mastery.

This process is not linear. It's a dance of old and new, of slipping back and recommitting. But each moment of awareness is a small victory, a tiny untying of an old knot.

The key is to approach the process with patience and self-compassion. Curiosity, not harsh judgment, is the tool that unravels old patterns.

So the next time you find yourself in the grip of an unwanted habit, get curious and celebrate. Over time, the old habits will start to unravel, making space for new possibilities to emerge.

This is the power of curious awareness. It's a gentle, persistent force that can transform even the most stubborn habits. And it's available to us in every moment.