Doubt, the wonderful and transformational irritant

In the beginning, the relationship felt like a dream. I was convinced he was the one for me.

But soon after, that all-too-familiar sinking feeling began to creep in.

The dynamics started to shift. Text replies that once came promptly became sporadic. Enthusiastic plans morphed into ambiguous promises. The growing chasm between the fiery passion we started and the increasing distance was not just distressing—it hurled me into a vortex of self-doubt and unease.

The realization dawned upon me: it wasn't solely the man in front of me. It was a repetitive pattern that had become a shadow in most of my romantic relationships. I found myself asking: was it something I was inadvertently doing? Or was I simply drawn to the same archetype—individuals uninterested in the depth and commitment I yearned for?

My great-great uncle, the philosopher Charles Sanders Peirce, once wrote:

“Doubt is an uneasy and dissatisfied state from which we struggle to free ourselves and pass into the state of belief; while the latter is a calm and satisfactory state which we do not wish to avoid, or to change to a belief in anything else.”

Drawing inspiration from his words, I began to see doubt and anxiety as early warning systems. They signal the need for change, prompting us to believe in our worth and our entitlement to love.  And in embracing this belief, we find peace and serenity, attracting those who mirror our sentiments.