How to feel happier with your partner

Giving relationship advice is dangerous, but the two times I did, the person thanked me . One encouraged me to become a coach.

The advice I gave was in the form of a story.

A serious relationship had just ended and I was livid. I had just written a list of all the bad things he had done, and suspected he had done, how he had neglected me, and how he had taken me for granted. After reading this rant to my therapist, she asked me to make a list of his positive attributes, all the things I appreciated him for. No way, I exclaimed! He doesn't deserve that!

Later that day, I pushed the resistance aside and started the list. I included everything, the significant as well as the menial 'expected' stuff: "He bought groceries." "He taught my kid to ski." As I wrote, my anger dissipated leaving me lighter, happier. During the next 24 hours, I added to the list. The effect was miraculous. Not only were my resentments gone, but a deep love appeared for him. The only thing was: it was too late and I had to face the fact we were not compatible. This led to my entering the letting go process that led to a chapter in my life of self-development and change.

So when the two individuals above shared their relationship difficulties, I told them the above story thinking that if it had worked for me after the end of an unsalvageable relationship, why not try it when the relationship was still going on?

Those two people I referred to above not only saved their marriages, but they strengthened their relationships and are still together today, years later.