Two delightful ways to avoid taking things personally

When a person offends us, it’s easy to let anger and resentment take over.

We may even fall into self-pity, taking what was said personally.

We may strike back, making the problem bigger.

What’s the alternative?

One solution is the “Sick Man Prayer”.

“Help me show the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. Show me how can I help them. Save me from being angry. ”

Another solution can be found in Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth. In it, he devotes a chapter to the fable of the falsely accused and slandered Zen Master Hakuin “whose only response was always ‘Is that so?’ shows the good that comes through inner nonresistance to events, that is to say, being at one with what happens. The story of the man whose comment was invariably a laconic ‘Maybe’ illustrates the wisdom of non-judgment, and the story of the ring points to the fact of impermanence which, when recognized, leads to non-attachment. Nonresistance, non-judgement, and non-attachment are the three aspects of true freedom and enlightened living.”

We can’t control world events and other’s behavior, but we can control how we respond to family, friends, and to people we encounter.

So think of the offender as a “sick man” and use “Is that so?” as a stock response. It will help make the problem smaller.